No more Whitney Houston, please.

Ryan is behaving like a 10-year-old. He's singing the enormously annoying "I Will Always Love You" and "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" at the top of his lungs (complete with cheesy hand motions and high-pitched voice) and now I have a monster headache. (It might have been different if he were singing the Dolly Parton version...but no). Furthermore, he just poked a hole in Kirby's Styrofoam cup that contained her peach tea, then began laughing manically.

It's Fried-Day in the newsroom.

Patti just asked if we need reminding about Red Ribbon Week (for drug awareness), and threatened to write warnings on the white board if we don't shape up. She is working really hard over there, trying to get the paper out by 5 p.m. because she and I are going to the jazz festival dinner and program at 6 p.m.

TGIF. And warm weather is on its way....

And by the way - I do adore Ryan. He is a constant source of entertainment.

Men and their parts.

CLASSIC snowbound day in the newsroom. Ryan is singing at the top of his lungs (rather badly, I might add) and Brenda just yelled from reception "Could you guys please turn that down. It's horrible!"

Patti has little balls on her snow boots and she just said they were going crazy. Ryan said "mine do that sometimes too," then got so tickled with himself he rocked back in his chair, threw back his head and laughed long and hard.

I just stared at him.

Jeff said "I would have said something about scratching them." Sheesh. Sports editors. Easy to generalize there.

Ryan is about to be slapped around the newsroom. He's saying I can't hear a thing when people are trying to talk to me and they have to throw objects at me to get me to pay attention - but somehow I can hear him whispering something negative about the habits of women. Hello. I told him he'll learn one more (very useful) habit women posess called SELECTIVE HEARING.

We're getting done really early today. I'm psyched.

Hey Toots!

Ohhh...there's a storm rolling in - and the newsroom is getting antsy. Ryan is trying to get in touch with our local EMS service but can't get anyone - so Jeff told him to just dial 911.

Patty got bossy with me because she caught me on my email while I was supposed to be writing. So when I finished my good-sized story in under 45 minutes and did a long cutline to boot, I said "there's your story AND your long-assed cutline, Toots." She laughed and said she likes to be called "Toots" because it makes her feel frisky. Then she blushed and her face and neck matched her red shirt.

I'm waiting for our local postmaster to return so I can ask about mail delivery during the winter storm. I'm not holding my breath.

It's getting dark and scary outside. I think it's gonna be a bad one.

*Yawn*

Ahhh. Monday in the newsroom.

Ryan is sitting at his desk with his arms crossed, staring into space. He said he's tired. Then he added "or maybe I'm just crazy."

Patti is finishing the front and jump. As of today she has her own music at her desk - and right now she's listening to Bon Jovi. That's our Patti.

I told Kirbs I'm blogging...to which she replied "awesome" (sarcasm dripping from her upper lip).

Jeff Rob the Heart Throb is gone for the day already.

Romper (news)Room

It's Friday and the newsroom is afflicted with a strange form of kerosene induced dementia because for some reason the pressroom people think they need to stay warm so they fire up an ancient heater that reeks and kicks the noxious vapors right into our sanitarium.

Brenda is broadcasting "drunk squirrel" from her cell phone. I'm sick on hot buffalo wing Bugles and trying to figure out a way to plug my nose and ears with rolled up notebook paper. Kirbs is crunching ice. Jeff is verbally poking at Patti and I offered to kick him in the neck. Patti is alternately yelling...then bursting into manic laughter. The ad department folks are poking their heads around the corner to see what the ruckus is about. Ryan just walked in with his ear to his cell phone (he's interviewing for a story) and promptly walked back out because it's too loud to hear anything in here. Brenda just asked the newsroom "did you guys drink at lunch or something?"

Well, duh.

Kerosene Cocktails

It smells horribly of kerosene in the newsroom this afternoon. . Apparently the press room has fired up its kerosene heater and they are stinking us all out - and causing a rash of annoying headaches. Writers with headaches = trouble, right here in River City. We've discussed going across the street to the 117 Bar to take refuge.

We've also discussed the possibility the press room people may be manufacturing molotov cocktails with kerosene and printer rags.

It's been an agonizingly long week. This cold weather has everyone cranky - which is not normal for the newsroom. We're normally a fun-loving lot...but not for the last four days. We're sullen and we eat constantly and we're swearing more than normal (and that's a LOT of swearing).