Thursday, May 27, 2010

Monster under the bed.

I haven't blogged since April and I don't EVEN want to write why.
I was bogged down in old quicksand, and thank heavens I've gotten out fairly unscathed.

The newsroom isn't the same, so I almost don't want to blog about it anymore. Michael gave his notice today. I know more changes are coming. It's sad, really. We used to be tight. We aren't anymore. I'll ride out the changes and maybe (and that's a BIG maybe) we will find that rare and unique camaraderie again.

My physical self reacts HUGELY to my emotional state...and I have been under the weather off and on the last couple of months. That is precisely the time I encountered the old quicksand, strangely enough. I've fallen off course, and have to start all over again because I can't seem to learn that there are some things that will never change, no matter how much we want them to.

I need to re-wire a few things inside my head and heart. And I need to simply steer clear when trouble heads my way - even if it comes with pretty stories and ardent apologies. Not everyone out there plays fair. Plays with honesty. Plays with good intentions.

It's almost summer. Less than a month until my solstice. Good things are coming...but just like I hate flying to get to a destination that delights and amazes me, the next few weeks may be a bit bumpy. It may take a little while before I can look under my bed again.

That's life.

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